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🔥Mind Mastery for Coaches (part 2): The Simple Secret to Conquering Self-sabotage

Do you ever struggle to follow through?

Tell me if this pattern sounds familiar:

🙌🏼Amazing thing happens…

🔥Inspiration follows…

🤔Genius plan gets put together…

💪🏼Follow through for a week (or 2)

… And then… Nothing.

Sound familiar?

“Aaah! Why does this happen?!”

Because, as John Maxwell puts it, “You can’t be who you think you’re not.”

Why not? Because…

The Terror Barrier.

I’ll explain. Check out this slide from a series we’re doing in my group mentorship program.

See the terror barrier? It’s the BARRIER between 1. Your comfort zone (where your normal-self is), and 2. The RED zone (where your best-self – AKA the Super-YOU🦸🏻‍♀️- is)

And what do you think it’s job is? To keep you “SAFE.”

Sometimes a good thing, but mostly it just prevents you from growth and fulfillment…

How it works: 

When you cross it, a part of your brain sends a signal saying:

“STOP! This feels scary. We’ve haven’t done this before! Just step back. Rather ‘play it safe.’

I call it, “the virus” – when you step out of your comfort zone. It attacks.

There’s this terrible tendency to simply yield to it (like a naughty puppy with it’s tail between it’s legs).

In other words, we self-sabotage, and give up on our dreams…

Psst. But there’s good news. It doesn’t have to be that way. You get to CHOOSE.

What’s the solution? Simple (kind of)…

STOP doing. Start BEING.

(read that again)

Whether you’re trying to hit your first $5k in your business, or get in shape before the holidays, here’s my advice:

Stop. Trying.

(“what did he just say?”)

Seriously. The key to lasting results, is NOT extra effort.

It begins with changing the script (I addressed this in last weeks newsletter titled: ‘Mind Mastery for Coaches: 4 Steps to Un-brainwashing Yourself’)

The script = your programming (or ‘brainwashing’). 

AKA the beliefs you adopted over the years about who you are and how you should live (through the ‘3 methods of programming’ – see last weeks newsletter).

And the most significant script is the one about who YOU are.

Deeply embedded in your subconsciousness, is a little file in your brain called ‘{{contact.first_name}}’s IDENTITY’. 

What’s written in it is the code that defines how you see and define yourself (self-image), and the worth you attach to yourself (self-esteem).

Pretend for a moment that you’ve just located this file in your brain, reached out and grabbed it, and that you’re now holding it out in front of you.

Do you realize the power of what you have in your hands?

It’s the KEY.

The key to following through and getting UNSTUCK.

To breaking through the terror barrier and getting LASTING results in your life / business / career / relationships.

If you change THIS. You change everything.

We get so caught up in the motions of our pursuits but neglect to address what’s at the heart of true, lasting bahavior change…

According to James Clear’s profound breakthrough in his book, ‘Atomic Habits’, the key to behavior change, is IDENTITY change.

It’s like having a tree with bad fruits – attempts to changing the fruits directly would be futile… 

Rather, you’d start deeper.

Fix the roots, and you fix the fruits.

Fixing the roots = doing an identity shift.

Story time – since I can remember, I was fascinated with the idea of being submerged in water.

When I first learned about freediving (from my brother-in-law), I felt it was the perfect match to this fascination of mine.

But I immediately considered my fear of drowning and said to myself: “I’ll never be able to do this. I’m not a freediver”

This solidified in my mind the identity of NOT being a freediver… and guess what? I was right. I wasn’t. And didn’t do any freediving whatsoever.

Until one day… 

In September of 2020, after watching ‘My Octopus Teacher’, I got inspired to finally explore this secret passion of mine.

A few short weeks later, my wife and I completed the requirements (we held our breathes over 4 minutes and dove down to 20 meters in the sea) and boom! We were certified freedivers!

What do you think helped me make the shift?

Yup, an identity shift.

How to Shift Your Identity (so you can conquer self-sabotage and get lasting results):👇

First, Change your Self Talk.

We tend to care so much about what we say to others, but neglect how we speak to ourselves.

If you change this one thing – your inner dialogue – you’ll grow so rapidly that you won’t recongize yourself by the new year.

Starting out, instead of saying to myself, “I’m going to try freediving”, I embraced the idea that, “I am a freediver.”

And the actions implied by this new identity (as a freediver) naturally followed.

Why? The virus attacks because it feels you’re being fake – you’re not truly (in your heart of hearts) the person to do these things.

But if you’ve already embraced the identity in your mind (“I AM this person”) and you cross the barrier, the virus doesn’t attack (or doesn’t attack as aggressively) because you’ve already (for the most part) become this person.

Make sense?

Same thing happened when I first started coaching. My mentor sat with me and wrote out the bio for me to place on my social media accounts:

“Warren Nel – Coach, Trainer, and Speaker”

It felt scary, but I embraced it. From that moment on, I was a coach. 

And the actions followed.

Second, Prove it.

In Atomic Habits, James Clear highlights that in order to believe in a new identity, we have to prove it to ourselves.

He adds that (this is one of my favorite quotes):

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

(read that a million times 😉 )

You must prove to yourself that you ARE this person. Else the new identity won’t stick.

Practical steps to wrap it up:

☑️Fully embrace this new identity (the Super-You) with “I AM” statements

☑️Make a list of clear actions linked to the identity

☑️Systemize these action (i.e. create habits)

☑️Get someone to hold you accountable (partner / friend / mentor / colleague)

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You’d be helping the emails get out to more people who could benefit from it and I’d be truly grateful.

My name is Warren. My mission is simple:

Help women coaches get PAID clients, STAND out, and build an authentic coaching business that generates Consistent Income, and that gives them the freedom and control to do what they love full-time (and change the world in their own unique way)

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